And that's all that really matters. Personally, I felt I wrote my most riveting fiction when I was severely depressed and/or using again. Now that I am clean and content (rainbows are not coming out of my ass although one could still hope), I am not sure what to write anymore. Sometimes I still argue with myself in plain daylight surrounded by real people who look at me like I am off my schizophrenia medication but who would want to read about that?